In the welfare society, depression keeps on growing. When the well being it’s searched outside ourselves, we are opening the door for constant insatisfaction. Read our clues and you’ll realize how to seize every minute without remorse.
- Overall, love yourself more than anyone else: From childhood we are taught to be second after the rest of the people and that shows we are reliable and fine, otherwise we’d be egotist. It seems as if our feelings weren’t important, but truth is that without loving ourselves we can’t be mature adults and we can’t love any other. On the other hand, we will develop self-destructive attitudes. We are unique and we have to enhance that. Loving ourselves it’s the first step to happiness.
- You’re the only owner of your life: Don’t let anyone push you to leave other way different to your paths. There is no wrong and no right, but the things that work for you and the ones that don’t; some are conventional and other, rather unconventional. You can be advised and any further than that it’s acting against your freedom. Who can judge how a life should be handled? Anyone that wants to change you or make you different to what you are it’s toxic, then keep him away.
- Keep toxic people away: There’s people that drains you emotionally (manipulates you, hurts you). They are big seducers in the outside, but shallow and insecure in the inside. Valuable people won’t let you down, won’t make you cry, and will grow with you because they like your company, they don’t think about what can they steal you.On the contrary, this garbage will torn you to pieces and make you lose your self-esteem. Run as soon as you notice one.
- Avoid feeling guilty all the time: You’ll only feel guilty if you think you are guilty. There are people that are skilled in emotional blackmail, as it’s one of the easiest and most effective ways to have someone under control. Just stop to think and analyze if there is really something you should feel wrong about. If it is, do you think that thinking over and over about it makes you feel better or makes the damage disappear? Of course not. You can’t change things, but if you put your foot on it you can ask for forgiveness and correct and if you don’t, you can learn from the experience.
- The past it’s past and the future it’s to come: Why worry about things you can’t change? That’s wasting energy and investing on suffering. Why worry about that things that happened and that probably won’t happen? That’s anticipating suffering. The only you have for sure it’s the present. If there’s a solution, go for it, and if it’s not, learn from the experience. Not forgiving yourself blocks you and stops you from progressing.
- Be positive: Being negative can make you unable to go on. If the worst of the worst it’s going to happen, what can anybody do about it? Life it’s not in pink, but seen it in black it’s as harmful. Optimistic are the ones that see life realistically and still think they can overcome the obstacles of everyday and they will learn from them, even if it takes pain. Take a thought and notice that many situations depend on how you evaluate them.
- Don’t aim for perfection, if you want to do it, do it: We are so pushed to do everything perfectly that we tend to stop ourselves from doing many amusing things because we are not experts. Let’s bring back the curiosity and the lack of prejudices of childhood and go for things we are interested at. The dare and the pleasure don’t come from the perfection with which it’s handled, but from the courage of trying.
- Big things are made of tiny things: Could a house being built without bricks? We look for happiness outside ourselves, when all we need for succeeding it’s in our inside; giving the rest the power for making us happy it’s always the closest step to failure. We are not half oranges, but complete oranges; if we can make ourselves happy, no one else will. How is happiness achieved? Enjoying every moment of our lives, as having a coffee with our best friend or going swimming; those little moments it’s what our life it’s made of.
- Reinvent yourself constantly: It can be trying new things or learning. Human beings aren’t something finished until they die and modern life always introduces dares. You can always change and reform, without age limitations.
- Don’t argue, be assertive: We are not infallible, then sometimes we collide because we have different opinions or make mistakes. Blaming and insulting others it’s a waste of time and of energy, not only doesn’t solve problems, but make them bigger. Between losing one marbles and being a dropout there’s a way, being assertive. With this option, you express your opinion without insulting (usually violence attracts more violence) and at once explain which kinds of attitudes you are not going to stand and that you have the right to have your own life. An assertive attitude would be something like this: “Those things you told me really hurted me and I don’t think I deserve them. If you think there’s something I did wrong, let’s talk about it when we are calmer”.
Bibliography
- Your Erroneous Zones by Wayne W. Dyer
- De la autoestima al egoísmo by Jorge Bucay (RBA Integral, 2005)
- Los pilares de la felicidad by Bernabé Tierno (Booket,Temas de hoy, Claves para vivir mejor, 2008)
- Optimismo vital by Bernabé Tierno (Booket, Temas de hoy, Claves para vivir mejor, 2007)
http://www.rbalibros.com/
http://www.temasdehoy.es/
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